| The Reader’s Advocate returns |
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| Written by Ben Williams | |
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I’m sure many of you were eagerly awaiting the BEST EVER (article in The Miner, not that silly UMR holiday), but as you noticed, I did not have an article in this semester’s first and second editions of The Miner. I’m sure you were all devastated. The problem in the former case is that I get no feedback. Even if you don’t use Outlook, it’s a simple matter of opening up a web browser, typing my (or the paper’s) email address, and saying something. ANYTHING. Even if it’s just “Chris Stryker is not hot enough to be Editor-in-Chief.” The current situation is such that I have to rely on listening to random conversations just for the sake of getting a little bit of input about the paper. The point: send in your comments about this paper. If it’s good or bad, it doesn’t really matter. The problem in the latter case is that you all whine too much and a lot of space in the Miner is being taken by useless drivel. I guarantee my article is a lot more useful and interesting than some guy telling you not to drink and drive. The useless drivel would be the sex column. The latest issue was about “fantasies.” My dream, which is apparently a fantasy, is for the school newspaper to stop trying to imitate “Savage Love,” because it doesn’t appear to serve any useful purpose. Besides, you’re never going to come close to “Savage Love” unless you have an acerbically bitter gay man writing it. Anyways, I got off topic. My first problem happens to be the new design. It’s slick, sleek, and looks pretty good. But one of the strengths of the old design was that it grabbed you and clubbed you over the head. The new design doesn’t do that…it just kind of recedes into the background like a poor Rolla swampie at a frat party. I mentioned some complaints from someone I called Joe Minor in my last article. He had quite a few more complaints and I regret that I cannot print them all, but I’ll try to summarize his points. Minor believes that many authors are paid not for writing GOOD articles, but simply for writing articles. He suggests a system in which articles need the approval of at least two reviewers/editors out of three that read it. Minor thinks that The Miner’s funding getting cut was a good thing, as it allows the paper to restructure and possibly open up a system in which any articles can be submitted, but only the best are printed. This would foster competition, which would increase quality of articles. Minor DOES mention the downside of the paper’s funding getting cut: that of bickering and whining. I think this is something The Miner still needs to get over; just look at the first paragraph of Stryker’s “Welcome Back” article in the first edition of this semester. Let’s move on to other comments about the paper. A recent one that I’ve frequently heard is that since the funding cuts, The Miner has actually improved a lot in the editing category (less grammatical mistakes slipping by, less typos, etc.). Another comment that seems to go along with that one, though, is that the paper has seemed to become more sterile. To be frank, it’s gotten boring. I know that for me, the last few issues have held very few articles that made me want to keep reading after the headline. I’m not condoning setting fire to things on campus, but wouldn’t it make a great article? Once again, don’t do that! We’re not The Daily Show, we don’t need to make our news up. Another complaint I’ve heard is regarding the “shot of the week” insert. If you figure that most students enter UMR at the age of 18, and that it takes about four and a half years to graduate, then more than half of UMR students are not of legal age to drink. I suppose the “shot of the week” could be construed as advertising alcohol to minors. I don’t know what to think about this. I’m told that drinking alcohol when you’re below the age of 21 is frowned upon (especially in the police crowd), but I also think this is a huge issue of personal responsibility. To me, saying that having that feature encourages underage drinking is like saying that playing Grand Theft Auto 3 is going to encourage you to kill hookers. Here’s a suggestion to kill two birds with one stone; if you think The Miner is sterile and boring and you’re 21 or older, make a couple shots of the week! After those magically disappear, then you should read The Miner; I guarantee it will be a lot more fun than normal. That’s if you can distinguish single lines, of course. Do the Sudoku, even if you can’t tell the difference between a seven and a four. I bet that much alcohol will make even the Mine Shaft look good! To conclude, send in comments about The Miner so I can make more jokes! If you don’t, I’m doomed to either fade into obscurity or gain fame in a more drastic manner (Saran wrapping the Chancellor’s house, anyone?). |
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